Lousy lovers

General News - Tuesday December 11, 2007

ODDS and ENDS

Lousy lovers

The worst lovers in the world are German men because they are too selfish in bed, a new survey reveals.

Second in the poll of 10,000 women in 50 countries were Swedish men, who are too quick.

Men from the Netherlands were third worst because they are too rough.

Americans (too dominant) were fourth, followed by Welsh men (too sentimental), Scots (too loud) and Turks (too sweaty). English men were tenth (too chubby). The women were quizzed on social networking site WAYN.com.

Spokesman Peter Ward said: "Who would have thought Welshmen were better lovers than Swedes? But I would remind girls, it takes two to tango."

Italian men were voted the best lovers followed by males from France, Ireland, South Africa, Australia, Spain, Denmark, New Zealand, Brazil and Canada.

Whopper shocker

A 24-year-old American man is suing a Burger King restaurant _ claiming he found a condom in his Whopper.

Van Miguel Hartless alleges he bit into the burger and found the unwrapped contraceptive under a piece of lettuce at Burger King in Rutland, Vermont.

"My third bite into the burger, it was just a foreign taste," he said. "It was a very sour, bitter sort of taste. It almost had a numbing sensation.

"As I went to bite down a little harder, I felt a rubber grind in between my teeth. I saw it half in my mouth, half hanging out. It was an immediate sick-to-my-stomach type of thing."

In the lawsuit, he says the experience has caused him "pain, suffering, nightmares, distress and medical expenses".

Scouser in the palace

Britain's Queen Elizabeth has a great sense of humour and loves to copy accents, according to a top aide.

The 81-year-old monarch reportedly has friends in stitches when she mimics a Liverpudlian accent.

According to her personal assistant, Liverpool-born Angela Kelly, the Queen is a dead-ringer for a Scouser.

Kelly said her boss has all kinds of accents in her repertoire.

" I love the Queen and everything about her. She has a wicked sense of humour and is a great mimic. She can do all accents, including mine."

The perfect driver

A British woman, aged 94, is giving up driving after 82 years on the road without a single accident.

Muriel Gladwin, from Hereford, took up driving at the age of 12 and has not had the smallest bump or a speeding ticket since, despite clocking up more than 600,000 miles.

"I'm a careful driver and I've never had an accident, a parking ticket or made an insurance claim. I think it's because I always keep my eyes wide open and stick to the rules of the road like glue," Mrs Gladwin said.

"I've driven all over the country and I've never had a crash. There have been a few near misses by other people though," she said.

Not his day

Police arrested a thief in Johannesburg who crept behind a woman in the street and snatched her bag. It contained 10 bottles of urine which she was taking to a laboratory for analysis.

By : Bangkok Post